Monday, 9 December 2013

Osborne admits economy 'a bit like a David Lynch film'

UK Chancellor George Osborne today admitted he found running the UK economy 'a bit like a David Lynch film,  frankly it leaves me confused.  I open up those economic reports and it may as well be David Bowie talking backwards whilst a dwarf stares out at me from behind a curtain. '

Osborne however insisted his economic programme would turn out as well as the Lynch directed Sci Fi film Dune. 

Wednesday, 4 December 2013


Westcumberlandshire Police today called off a massive hunt for a matching sock.

The search, which had involved 100 officers, was finally wound down last night.  A police spokesman commented: "We unfortunately have to accept that we'll never find the matching sock.  This type of disappearance is distressingly common, and we suspect a major eastern European sock trafficking ring may be involved. "