A leaked Liberal Democrat report has shed light on the party’s
reasons for wanting to reduce Britain’s Trident nuclear missile submarine fleet
from four to three vessels. Senior party
officials are now convinced that the current four ship fleet is ‘grammatically
incorrect’, as the ‘tri’ in Trident suggests three not four submarines.
A Lib Dem spokesman - briefing off the record - confirmed
the report’s existence, saying he was “terribly worried that the Russians might
think we were trying to trick them.” He continued: “We must either reduce the
number of subs to three or at least consider renaming them Quadrant or
something.”
Senior Naval Sources were unimpressed by the report’s
central argument, pointing out that the KGB can probably read Wikipedia on
their iPhones and therefore know exactly how many subs there are.